Life

So, here I am. I live in Texas now. Joey brought the kids and I down here the first of May. So here I am in a new place, no friends, I know no one but his family, and he is gone. Now what? I have to make this house a home, find a job, get the kids in school, keep my grades up in college, not go insane, and all this without him! I feel very alone! I am so scared to be getting out of the military, and I am in the middle of a deployment, and no one here knows how I feel. If I cry I am weak, if I scream I am crazy, if I smile I don't miss him enough, if I sleep to long I am depressed... Crazy how I have no idea exactly what I am feeling, all I know is I am lost! If it weren't for my sister 4 hours away I may go crazy! I have no one to talk to and I am so tired of crying, not sleeping, feeling so alone. But I am scared for the day he comes back "home". That means no more security... Then what? Where does that leave us? I need to get myself together. I need to find a job, I need to make sure my family pulls through this, I dont have tim to feel so weak. I AM NOT A WEAK PERSON! I will keep telling myself that! And here you will find my feelings, because I need to get it out somewhere!

Ok, so a little update. We are now living in Texas...

I have decided to start this to keep our family more updated on just what it is we do here in California. I miss all of my family dearly, but our life is in full swing here, and we are loving the California sunshine. I hope to write here often, and keep everyone more up to date. Right now Joey is still deployed, and I am busy as ever with both of the kids, school finals, preparing for home coming, and life in general. I will however be in here and blogging as often as I can, so check back for family updates and news. Thank you!