If I die before I wake

So this will always be a work in progress, but it is really on my mind. I feel that I should have a say in my passing. I would like to know that my wishes are heard, and hopefully taken into consideration for my memorial and all that comes with death. So to my family, close friends, this is it! A work in progress, for what I hope to be a very long time!

~My first rule, yes rule! No fighting over anything that I leave behind, it is all just crap!!!
~I totally HATE all that sappy, sad, church music that is played at most memorials, and will not have it at mine, PLEASE! I will come up with a list that is acceptable however, and you will find it here at a later time.
~No roses! Joey knows what kind of flower I like, and if all he tells you is Happy ones, he is exactly right. Tons or Gerber daises, all colors! I love carnations and the smell of lilies is the best smell of any flower.
~I will not have my final remembrance in a church, or indoors for that matter, weather permitting!

THIS IS MY LETTER FOR MY MEMORIAL!!!
As I write this I am 25 years old, the date is September 22nd 2008. I am at that point in my life where death feels very real and close. Not as in I am knocking on Heavens door, but it is all around me, and I feel like it has followed me for far to long. I am tired of losing people that are close to me, yet I know that some day it will be me that you all are saying good bye to, and this is my story, my piece that I would like read at my memorial, from me to me!

First, if you are hearing this, I beat you! Yep, I got here first and I win! For my kids this will be the first time mommy has won since the day Cameron came into my life, followed by Emele. You two never let me win, so now it's my turn. Are you smiling? I hope so because I love your smiles. Joey, you all ready knew that I always won, thank you for that. On a little bit of a serious note, thank you for being here, sorry I couldn't make it, but I promise you I am having a better time then all of you are right now. You see I believe there is this place we all go, Heaven. And I am sure that it is a much happier day here right now then wherever you are listening to this. Maybe you don't believe, and that is all right. You see the Bible had this saying that really spoke to me, from dust you come and dust you will return. I was cremated right?! Well that was the Lord, our Lord who said that. All of you have heard of Heaven and Hell, I know you have. But you see it is really easy to go to Heaven, all you have to do is accept the Lord in your heart and ask for forgiveness. I am sure a lot of you are sitting out there wondering how I ever had time to do anything but ask for forgiveness, but I found time, believe me. So I ask you not to cry tears of sorrow, because I am the lucky one today. I promise all of you that I am smiling right now thinking about all of you.

I loved life. I was given so much. I will miss each and every one of you, but I will see you all later. There are no good byes in life, only, until we meet agains.

Songs that I love:
Tom Petty~ American Girl
Dixie Chick~God Speed~for Joey
Jamie O' Neal~I Love My Life
Garth Brooks~Friends In Low Places (Live Version)
Faith Hill~ There You'll Be
Queen~Who Wants to Live Forever
There is a little more to this than just a great song. I always told my Uncle Darrell I hated Queen, only to make him tell me just how great they are. So, here it is... I love this song!
Hot Chocolate~You Sexy Thing
Colin Raye~I Can Still Feel You