March 7, 2006~Oh my babies, my wonderful babies!!!

Well, my babies are no longer babies. Emele is pulling herself up on everything, and can go anywhere in the house that she wants to. She can even go up and down the step. Cameron is the most wonderful big brother ever. He is growing up way to quick. I have finally got to the point that I don't want to wash all the little hand prints off of my slider, I am scared I will never see them again. He is incredibly funny as well. His memory is way to good for a 2 year old. I mentioned going to my moms on Monday, said something like we might go down on Friday, on Friday morning Cameron comes to his dad and says, I'm going to see Papa and Grandma today after work. He knew that it was Friday, and remembered what I had said 4 days prior. he doesn't miss a thing unless you are telling him no to sweets. He will willingly pick up his room, put his clothes in the hamper, brush his teeth 6 times a day, he is just to funny. Well that is all for now. My children bragging rights are at a stand still for the night. Take care Y'all!!

August 23, 2006~Saying good byes?

So no mater what you are going to come to a point in your life where you have to let go of someone, something, or just say good-bye... It seems that this just happens so often in my life. And shouldn't you be able to say good-bye before you have to let go? It is really sad to say, but whenever I see a number from a friend back home come across my caller ID I get this gut wrenching feeling deep in my stomach. I know that something horrible has happened. So for all the old crew to get back together, someone has to die? Why is that? I wish I could just keep all of my friends safe, take all the drugs, alcohol, and pain away from them, but then where would they be, where would I be? In the case of Brian I would like to think that he is in a better world then the one he was living in, but who am I to say? I just hope that he is happier where he is now! He will be missed, as long as everyone else we have lost. If you are reading this, please take a minute right now to remember all those you have lost and their impact on your life, no think of the last time you called that old friend from back home or visited them, is it about time? With all my love and deepest prayers: RIP Brian!!

We mold our children

When our children are disrespectful, unappreciative, disruptive, mean.... Who is to take the blame? I have no one to blame but myself. I have made them the way they are, I have molded them. How do you change such a vicious cycle, that you have created? I feel like I have failed my children by giving in so much, spoiling, and not showing them that there is so much more to life than material things. I really need some guidance here. I can only pray that I can change my ways, lead by example, and shower them with love more than material things to express how much I love them. Is there an AA for this? I want my children to be happy, I want them to know how much they are loved, I need for them to know that I am here for them... And I am doing it all wrong! They expect everything. They cry and throw fits when they do not get what they want, they pout over not getting a toy every day. What have I done?!